Once when I was younger than I am now, I know what my dream was. Technically maybe not a dream, but something that I supposed to do. It has something to do with candle. It was an advice from Kahlil Gibran, taken from his story about a fly that got upset because the fire from the candle burnt his wing. The candle said, I am the one who burnt to death, just to light up the night, and you hate me because I burnt your wing. Look at me, said the candle.
I wrote that passage in my cupboard door in my dorm room in high school. Knowing that sacrifice for others is the highest of all. Naively understood what that means, and applied to my life. It was nothing wrong with it. Even more, it more applicable now in my 30 years of life.
What went wrong was the way I lived my life. The way I didn’t understand how to balance between sacrifice and my own ego. Funnily, what went wrong was I actually didn’t know what my ego was. What was I supposed to be.
Funny, because I thought I know what I dreamt of. Because, now I don’t even walking on that path. I forgot that dream was not given to you.
Its too far now.